An Encomium

I hate to add to everyone’s general despondency about the cancellation of OJ’s book and television special, but I am afraid that I have some bad news. Albert Hall, a long-time member of the Alabama legislature, has passed away. Albert’s heart finally gave out on him after many years of abuse, just after he was elected for his eighth term in the House of Representatives. Albert was from Gurley, which is about ten miles and ten years outside of Huntsville on Highway 72. With all apologies to the Guvernator, Albert was the original Gurley-Man, and I would take him over Ahnold in a fight any day.
I was the first lobbyist to visit Albert, just days after his election in 1978. I called on him one bright November morning, and we drank a cup of coffee as we sat around his filling station. He was a citizen legislator, jumping into the race when the government took some of his land when they were widening Highway 72 and making it a four lane road. He got mad, ran, and the rest is history. That first session of the legislature, Albert got placed on the Rules Committee, but he never would vote for the Speaker’s agenda, which did not make him too popular with the House leadership.
Outside of the ever-present chaw of tobacco in his mouth, there is one thing that I will always remember about Albert. One night my future boss, Clark Richardson, was hosting Albert and another Huntsville-area legislator, Bob Albright, for a night of fun and frolicking at the basement bar of the Downtowner Motor Inn, just across the street from St. John’s Episcopal Church, which was Jefferson Davis’s church, and mine too. Please excuse me if I call Albright by his nickname, which was Half-Bright.
About midnight Albert and Half-Bright got into some sort of commotion fueled by ample quantities of cheap bourbon purchased by the Alabama Power Company. I have been told that the attentions of a young lady were also in question, but we really do not want to go there. The situation came to a head when Albert drew a thirty-eight snub nose from his coat pocket and announced that he intended to kill Half-Bright right then and there. Luckily for Half-Bright, Clark was able to smooth talk Albert into putting his pistol away and not killing Half-Bright, then he convinced Albert that they should call it an evening before someone called the cops.
Clark maneuvered Albert to the elevators, all the while admonishing him for his behavior. Albert protested he was just joshing Half-Bright, that the pistol was not loaded anyway. He demonstrated this by drawing the gun, whereupon it immediately discharged into the ceiling of the basement of the Downtowner Motor Inn, which is also where Elvis stayed when he came to Montgomery, thank you very much. The situation was complicated by the fact that the hotel had an open atrium, so the gunshot woke up every guest not already passed out drunk and brought them out of their rooms onto the balcony.
Luckily, Clark did not drink much and was still sober, and he also remembered that the Speaker of the House, Joe McCorquodale from Clarke County, stayed at the Downtowner Motor Inn. You may be interested in knowing that Dolly Parton also stayed there when she came to Montgomery (I saw Dolly in the lobby, but she would not join us for drinks). Luckily, there was a happy conclusion. The Speaker made a couple of quick phone calls to Mayor Folmar and the Chief of Police and not only were no charges filed, there was no mention of it in the Montgomery Advertiser. What the Speaker got out of the event was a new best friend, for Albert was loyal, and he never voted against the Speaker again. Thus legends are made.
Albert’s death was commented on in the Huntsville paper by John Robinson, the House member from the adjacent district. He said, “North Alabama has lost a giant. Outside his family and the good Lord, Albert loved the people he represented.” I can say amen to that. You might remember John Robinson also got his name in the paper a couple of years ago when he was arrested in a night club parking lot for making the beast with two backs with a twenty-four year old female in the back seat of his car. Totally nude. Yes, he was re-elected.